Departing friends

In a private ceremony, heavy with emotion, the silences broken only by muffled sobs, two friends, inseparable in death as in life, departed this life having served faithfully, resolutely and without complaining about retirement benefits or pension shortfalls. They weren’t ill, simply worn out after a lifetime of devotion to their employer. They weren’t downtrodden or dismissed as servile as many of their contemporaries often are, but treated with respect for the important role they played. But now time had overtaken them. They could no longer provide the standard required.

So, as a lone piper played a lament on a distant hillside, the inevitable took place, as my loyal, comfortable, but hole ridden slippers were consigned to the bin.

Brexit means nothing

Apart from hoping that the imbecile who coined the word is safely incarcerated in the Tower, what a misleading word it is. From “Britain’s exit” or “British exit”, it is plainly wrong. I can only assume that Northern Ireland is seen as a tiresome add-on that will have, at some point, to be included in whatever is finally agreed.

Even Ministers who should know better mix up the words to describe the place where we happen to live.

Britain, or Great Britain as it used to be called, is England, Scotland and Wales.

The United Kingdom consists of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, as the full name suggests – The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland.

Ministers and others even refer to “what is best for the country” – which country? England, I suppose.

Customer service – how a few pence and a little thought could work wonders.

Here are just two examples of how a couple of businesses brought unwelcome reviews.

A cafe in Wolverhampton served just one sealed butter portion with a toasted tea cake, nowhere near enough to cover the surface, let alone provide some taste. When the customer politely asked for another butter, she was brusquely told, “Yes, but we’ll have to charge you for it.”

A group of four ordered tea at an upmarket hotel in Dorset. When it arrived they enquired whether biscuits were available. Exactly four biscuits were produced – for £2!

The cost of providing the biscuits and butter “free” would have only cost pence, but more importantly would have avoided bad reviews and the customers would have departed satisfied, rather than disgruntled, something they would have undoubtedly passed on to others.

Experts and pundits

If 2016, and 2017 so far, has proved anything, it’s that many so called experts don’t know what they’re talking about.

Pollsters, pundits and forecasters

The airwaves are awash with ‘experts’ analysing why so many opinion polls and forecasts were wrong in 2016. The answer is simple – the people spoke!

I will give you a castiron forecast for 2017. Those who talk will waffle on for months, going round in circles. Those who “do” (as opposed to talking) will simply get on with it as usual, wondering what all the fuss is about.

Muhammad Ali

I had the privilege of meeting this great man when he came to Dudley in, I think, 1983 to open a particular establishment close to where I was working . A large crowd began to gather as the expected time arrived. Those of us on site had a prime position at the front of the hundreds who wanted to see him. As the door of his limousine opened there was an eruption of sound to welcome him. As he stood to acknowledged us, he simply placed his index finger on his lips, and a hush immediately followed, such was the respect this great boxer commanded. A brief conversation with a few of us and then he was whisked away.

Muhammad Ali was so much more than a boxer. May he rest in peace, free from the ravages of the cruel disease that took over his body.

2020 – a magic year?

I don’t know whether anyone can enlighten me, but I’ve lost count of the number of things that the politicians tell me are going to materialise by 2020. Is there something magical, of even sinister, attached to that year or number? If, indeed, all the promised things do come to pass, it’s going to be a wonderful year. Not sure if I can hold my breath that long.

Why I think the Government’s EU leaflet is worthless.

I have today received the Government’s much heralded and equally criticised EU leaflet.

Apart from telling me nothing new, the information is worthless, because no references are given for the sources of the statistics used, so verification becomes difficult, time consuming and, for the average person, very off-putting.

No, I’m not biased. I still haven’t made up my mind.

Our milestones

A survey in today’s paper shows the following ages at which we experience the best of certain things:

Healthiest 30 (years old)

Body confident 31

Best sex 32

Find true love 32

Happiest in career 38

Happiest overall 39

Content with love life 40

Get dream salary 42

Wealthiest 47

I can say categorically that the survey is the biggest load of garbage I have read in a long time. Out of those nine categories, I have reached my peak in the past three to four years. I am 71!

NHS/Public Sector Fat Cats Pay

The recent disclosures following an investigation  by the Taxpayers Alliance have highlighted the obscene rake-offs by certain individuals, some of whom have presided over less than successful regimes, while others have bordered on criminal irresponsibility.

It’s not the level of remuneration that necessarily sticks in the craw. I certainly wouldn’t take on a job of heading an out of control juggernaut. The fact of the underhand and extremely dubious ways in which the packages are constructed leave us all in no doubt that there is something very wrong.

Yet the powers that be have the nerve to criticise businesses who use legal methods of keeping their tax bills to a minimum. Still, we’re all in this together aren’t we? No, we certainly are not.